Are you trying to satisfy your past or satisfy your future?

Are you trying to satisfy your past or satisfy your future?

Are you the kind of person who makes New Year resolutions?

I am. And I am not.

I typically use the end of each year to slow down, reflect, and assess my life – end to end. If that annual reflection produces a resolution, fine. If not, fine. You see, it’s less about finding “something to change” and more about staying committed to the process. My process is driven by a question I learned decades ago: 30 years from now, what will matter most?

It’s a powerful question – and to be honest – it’s a question I have to constantly remind myself to ask beyond my annual ritual.

Because the “now” is SOOOO incredibly full/busy/chaotic/fun/dissatisfying/etc. “Now” is such an easy distraction.

But I am learning that my definition of now is actually neither present nor very mindful. My definition of now is actually tethered to my past. And the happiness I am pursuing is unconsciously biased to satisfy my past – not my future.

What I mean by this is that my ability to feel/think is limited to the neural pathways in my brain. And as I discussed in my last post, those neural pathways were often developed and reinforced by shame and blame. And if I am not careful, everything that I feel/think will be biased toward fixing something that, frankly, no longer exists.

In other words, I will try to be successful to prove that I didn’t fail. I will try to be significant to prove that I was worthy. I will try to be in control to prove that I will never be hurt by the unexpected again. That actually generates a lot of unintended stress.

And as the Teacher said, it’s all meaningless.

So, my resolution for this year (and for many, many more) is to make a powerful shift from satisfying my past to satisfying my future. That beautiful, hope-filled future that is literally overflowing with possibility.

And to feel/think accordingly.

I mua. Onward and upward.

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