“The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.”
~ John Powell
As we ramp up the new year, I have a question for you…
What did you really learn in 2024?
And I don’t mean what you were reminded of or reflected upon.
Because learning isn’t learning unless behavior changes.
So, let me ask the question again.
What did you actually learn in 2024? What actually changed in your behavior?
Before we go any further, know that I put myself through the same intense test.
And I found that I had been reminded of a lot. And I reflected on even more. But actual change? I only found three things that I can honestly say I learned.
Here they are…
Be the tree
First, I read a powerful little book called “The Courage to Be Disliked” by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga.
And there’s a powerful explanation of the power of mindfulness in chapter 52. It talks about how to live in “now” and being completely focused on the present moment. As I read this chapter, it suddenly dawned on me.
The tree never intended to become a forest. It just did.
The tree, without ambitions or dreams, simply puts its roots into the earth and grows to become the best it can be. In doing so, it multiplies. It becomes much more than it could ever be on its own.
And this is Life. We can only become the best version of ourselves by maximizing the present moment that we have, to maximize the now. The rest happens on its own. Or doesn’t. Only time will tell.
So, when I get stressed and worried, I tell myself to be the tree. Maximize the now – even if the moment that just passed was an utter failure.
I cannot undo the past, nor can I control the future. But by maximizing the now, I am seeing progress and fruitfulness in very UN-intended ways. And it’s beautiful.
More trees are beginning to take shape.
The rock tumbler
The second big change I learned was from a speech I saw from Steve Jobs. Perhaps you’ve seen it? It’s called “the rock tumbler.” It describes how when a good idea is born, it is nowhere near ready until it’s been tumbled. It’s not ready until it’s gone through friction, challenge, and potentially even some breaking.
As someone who has always been intrigued by good ideas, I didn’t realize how valuable the rock tumbler journey was to good ideas. That even the best ideas still need friction, challenge, and even some breaking.
And it inspired me to be patient. That even though I am absolutely convinced that how we lead and how we work can be better, there needs to be a rock tumbler involved. The core principles that I am trying to evangelize need to be polished.
So, I created a small group of friends that join me in what I call the rock tumbler. They help me by listening to the wild ideas I have and the feedback I have collected to help me polish what I am working on. And I provide the same service to them.
As a result for me personally, my ideas are getting even stronger and the results they produce come even faster for my clients.
Because the work of even great ideas isn’t done when the idea is born.
Make peace with it
The third thing I learned in 2024 was an extension of a principle that I have been living with for years.
If you recall, I have been talking about the power of confidence, acceptance, and trust over the allure of success, significance, and control.
The three big questions that I use with my coaching clients (and yes, with my own self) are:
- Am I doing my best?
- Do I truly love myself just as I am now?
- Do I trust the journey I am on?
In one of my coaching calls, I was explaining this idea and talking about how – sometimes – the questions can produce some less than convincing answers. Especially that third question. And uttered this advice.
“Can you make peace with it?”
Can you make peace with the idea that your best might not be good enough?
Can you make peace with the gaps, weaknesses, and wounds that you have?
Can you make peace with the idea that the journey might not take you where you intended it to go?
And then it suddenly dawned on me that I needed to apply that same test to my own reflections. That I need to make peace with my answers.
My best may not be good enough.
My gaps, weaknesses, and wounds may never go away.
And my journey might go in a direction that I have zero intention of it going.
I am good with that.
Because I realize that my life has been beautiful thus far. I have learned the art of using gold to fill my cracks. And the cracks are what makes my life beautiful – not the gold.
Which leads to a final question for each of us: What are we going to learn in 2025? More specifically, what is going to change?
I have no idea what my answer is. Time will tell. But I know that I have made peace with it and that the tree and the rock tumbler will be part of it.
In closing, may I ask you to pause long enough to define what you actually learned in 2024?
And if you are willing to share it with me, please comment below or send me a DM. I’d love to follow your journey.
Holomua. Onward and upward.
Originally published at https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-did-we-actually-learn-2024-tim-ohai-6a9wc/
An extra thought:
“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second-best time is now.”
~ Chinese Proverb
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